Why is it so hard to reach out and ask for help? Is it something to do with the western culture? Is it supposed to look like we can have a million balls in the air, and that we’re managing them all to perfection oh and if you’re a woman you also have to look beautiful while doing it. I don’t get it. I’m tired of it.
I’m not managing well right now folks. Anxiety is sky high. I keep waiting for it to pass but there it is every morning greeting me as I wake. It’s still 2017 and I still want a revolution but I’ve come to realize I can’t do it by myself. I need some help. I need your help. This is me reaching out.
I need to meet you for coffee or have you come here. I might need you to come to a doctors appt with me. Or drive me on an errand if my pain is too high. I need you to remind me that I am safe even though I don’t feel safe. I need reassurance that I’m making good choices for myself.
I need you to understand if I cancel our plans at the last minute because my anxiety takes over or if I have a sudden doctors appointment which happens on occasion.
I need help remembering that beauty comes from within, and that my ultimate goal for this year is health and wellbeing not weight loss.
I need help remembering that I’m not alone and that I have friends that care about me, maybe even love me. Even if I feel undeserving.
I need reminders every now and then that I’m a good wife and good mother despite my limitations,
I need you to be a pain warrior sidekick. And remind me that I can kick this years ass with amazingness and change for myself now and for future Jen.
I may never be able to return the favours. I may never deserve the kind of friends that I’ve been blessed with. Reaching out feels scary and vulnerable. But this is me reaching out.