For the past few months I’ve been uninspired. Dealing with my illnesses has taken over my life and it has felt like I’m merely existing day to day instead of really living. You know that feeling of facing the same, day in and day out. For some people it’s the job they face daily only to be too exhausted to doing anything productive at night. For me it’s pain and appointments, pain and appointments.
A month or so ago, I decided that things just had to change. I wanted to learn something new. I needed a distraction, something to keep my mind busy. My aunt had taught herself to crochet just before Christmas so I enlisted her help to learn how. And I haven’t stopped since. It has become my new distraction, but not only that, it’s a true exercise in mindfulness. I get lost in the stitches, the repetition, and definitely the concentration that’s needed. I can’t think of anything else while stitching, as any project I’m working on takes my full attention, and there has been such freedom in that. For a little while I’m not thinking about how much pain I’m in, or how much more might be on the way. I feel like I have some control over my own life experience even if it’s short lived. (my new change purse is below)
Have you learned anything new lately? What have you always wanted to try?
Here’s the pattern for the change purse: http://www.oneartsymama.com/2014/12/simple-crochet-pouch.html
My life is currently spent in a waiting room, wondering when my name will be called.
At least that’s what it feels like. I’m open to suggestions for ways to pass the time. Leave an idea below and I’ll compile a list and post it.
What is the perfect day? What would it be for you? Would it include a beach at sunset, or your favourite meal? Perhaps time with loved ones, or hot chocolate by the fire?
My good friend and I were discussing this very thing the other night. He talked about his quest for the perfect day. I was surprised at what he described. I expected dreams of adventure, or the inclusion of an exotic destination with the perfect girl by his side. But his goals were on a much smaller scale, and much more focused on his internal wellbeing versus anything that would come externally. He described a day where he really looks after himself, body, mind and soul. He thinks about exercise and nutrition and what he puts inside his body. He thinks about reading and what he feeds his mind. He thinks about what he can do to inspire his soul.
It got me to thinking. What do I do to take care of myself? Right now I feel like I’m merely existing. Sure, I cope with pain meds, and treatments. I distract with music, and colouring and writing. But what do I do to nurture myself? What if the time I spent warring against this body that causes me such pain, I spent loving it instead. What if a perfect day for me was spent seeing myself in a loving way and doing things for myself that reinforced that love. Would it eventually impact my perspective on the rest of the world? On my life? I think it would. And I want to find out.
What would your purpose be?
I am in love with colouring. Long before “adult” colouring books became cool, you’d see me with a box of crayons and a colouring book. I find it relaxing, its my form of meditation. I get lost in the colours, in the lines and shapes, and for that time I’m focused on the moment. Colouring is great pain distraction.
It’s been harder to colour since the accident, as my eyes get overwhelmed easily if the page is too busy. I’ve gone to simpler pages in the mean time and I also discovered the most amazing colouring app on my IPAD called Colorfy.
Here’s my favourite one I’ve done so far:
I can zoom in and out, and there is a great selection of pages to choose from. I love especially that the app is free. There’s options to buy extra pages and colours of course, but the basics offered are plenty for me. I hope to get back to my favourite colouring books eventually, but in the mean time I’m so glad to have this as an alternative.
A few of my favourite books to doodle and colour in are below: